The Guardian & Worry Mindset

The Guardian mom's love is fierce and unwavering. She would move mountains to protect her children. Her strengths are her unyielding dedication and her ability and desire to truly understand and empathize with her children. The Guardian keeps track of all of the little details of life that keep her family on track. Her desire to protect her teens drives her to be vigilant and proactive in anticipating potential dangers and problems.

Being a constant Guardian, anticipating her kids’ needs, and being in a constant state of vigilance has the potential to create a lot of anxiety and stress for the Guardian mom. This is where the Worry Mindset comes in. The Guardian can catastrophize or fall into all-or-nothing thinking, seeing seeing the world as if there are only two possible outcomes – everything is ok, or everything is terrible. The Guardian can also feel overwhelmed when faced with the uncertainty of the future.

Here's the good news! The Guardian also has the power to break free of these mindset traps. Check out these podcast episodes in particular to learn how to break free of the Worry Mindset.

The Worry Mindset

Trap #2 - Catastrophizing

Trap #5 - All or Nothing

Trap #9 - Emotional Reasoning

Trap #11 - Fear of the Unknown

The Achiever & the Fix-It Mindset

The Achiever Mom embodies success and high achievement.  She approaches life with a high degree of confidence and her innate ability to tackle problems and find solutions have made her successful in many areas of her life. She channels these strengths into parenting, driven by a profound love for her teens and a desire to see them thrive. In many areas of the Achiever's, she is confident and thinks of herself as a problem-solver. A fixer. If she doesn’t know the answer, she’ll do the work to figure it out.

On the other hand, as the Achiever's teens grow up, she begins to face challenges that are no longer in her power to fix. She might struggle with confirmation bias and letting go of control. When things go wrong, the Achiever often blames herself and then doubles-down on trying to do more to fix the situation. Letting go doesn't feel like the right answer, but holding on this tight creates pain for the Achiever, causing her to show up with her teen in ways she regrets.

Here's the good news! The Achiever also has the power to break free of these mindset traps. Check out these podcast episodes in particular to learn how to break free of the Fix-It Mindset.

The Fix-It Mindset

Trap #1 - Confirmation Bias

Trap #7 - Personalization (Mom Guilt)

Trap #9 - Emotional Reasoning

Trap #14 - Illusion of Control

The Nurturer Archetype and the Validation-Seeking Mindset

The Nurturer's strengths include unconditional love, empathy, compassion and adaptability. The role of motherhood has given this mom a deep sense of fulfillment and purpose. She can sense and understand her children's emotions and provide a safe space for them to express themselves without judgment. The Nurturer is patient and flexible in her approach to parenting. Above all, the Nurturer loves unconditionally. Their love transcends obstacles and challenges, and serves as a guiding light for her teens as they navigate the complexities of adolescence.

The Nurturer enjoys a deep sense of purpose and fulfillment in her role as a mother, but the challenges of raising teens and the inevitable shift to the empty nest can be difficult as the Nurturer grapples with feeling disconnected or losing her purpose as her teens pull away and eventually leave. 

While the Nurturer isn’t necessarily a validation-seeker, as her role as a mom shifts in the teen years, the Nurturer can begin to feel insecure about her role and relationship with her kids.  The problem is that she can be left feeling dependent on people and things outside of herself to feel happy and at peace. Validation-Seeking. Perfectionism. The Comparison Trap. These are all ways we look for things outside of us to find purpose and fulfillment.

Here's the good news! The Nurturer also has the power to break free of these mindset traps. Check out these podcast episodes in particular to learn how to break free of the Validation-Seeking Mindset.

The Validation-Seeking Mindset

Trap #3 - Validation-Seeking

Trap #4 - Comparison Trap

Trap #6 - Perfectionism

Trap #8 - Identity Crisis

The Mentor Archetype & the Judgmental Mindset

The Mentor is pragmatic, efficient, confident and assertive, and she uses these skills to support her children in every conceivable way. This is the mom that gets things done. She is able to make decisions quickly. She takes action. The Mentor nurtures and guides her teen, serving as a source of wisdom, support, and encouragement. She helps her teen navigate challenges and make informed decisions. She is a role model, demonstrating empathy, resilience, and unconditional love. She constantly offers encouragement and points her teen toward opportunities for growth. The Mentor also has intuition and insight. She has a natural gift for sensing her teen's needs and emotions without them having to say anything.

The Mentor’s efficiency and pragmatism can, at times, make her susceptible to the Judgment Mindset. The Mentor could be prone to labeling or overgeneralization. While the Mentors intuition is a strength, it can also lead to mindreading, assuming she knows what’s going on in her teen's head without really knowing. These traps cause the Mentor to judge others and herself. The hardest part about these traps is that the Mentor very often doesn't  even realize she's falling into them.

Here's the good news! The Mentor also has the power to break free of these mindset traps. Check out these podcast episodes in particular to learn how to break free of the Judgment Mindset.

The Judgment Mindset

Trap #9 - Emotional Reasoning

Trap #10 - Labeling

Trap #12 - Mind Reading

Trap #13 - Overgeneralization

The Worry Mindset

These mindset traps fuel anxiety. The worry often feels really important, because if you could just fix the problem in front of you or predict what problems might happen in the future, you could feel better and avoid future pain, right? But...the problem is that you're left feeling terrible right now and potentially showing up in your life and relationships in a way that you don't want.

Here's the good news! You have the power within you to break free of these traps. Your mind is instinctually designed to seek safety and pleasure, and to be as efficient as possible. But sometimes this subconscious motivation leads you to fall into thought patterns that don't actually serve you. Learning to observe your mind and how it perceives your life in a way that creates feelings of anxiety is the way to break free from these feelings and find peace.

Check out these podcast episodes in particular if you can relate.

Trap #2 - Catastrophizing

Trap #5 - All or Nothing

Trap #9 - Emotional Reasoning

Trap #11 - Fear of the Unknown

The Fix-It Mindset

These mindset traps fuel guilt, frustration and anxiety. I get it, you feel responsible for helping your teen be safe, happy and successful. But you can't always "fix" it. So when things go wrong, you blame yourself and then you double-down on trying to do more to fix the situation...only you feel less successful by the day. Letting go doesn't feel like the right answer, but holding on this tight is also creating pain for you and causing you to show up in your relationship with your teen in ways that you don't want.

Here's the good news! You have the power within you to break free of these traps. Your mind is instinctually designed to seek safety and pleasure, and to be as efficient as possible. But sometimes this subconscious motivation leads you to fall into thought patterns that don't actually serve you. Learning to observe your mind and how it perceives your life in a way that creates feelings of responsibility to "fix" is the way to break free from these feelings and find peace.

Check out these podcast episodes in particular if you can relate.

Trap #1 - Confirmation Bias

Trap #7 - Personalization (Mom Guilt)

Trap #9 - Emotional Reasoning

Trap #14 - Illusion of Control

The Validation-Seeking Mindset

These mindset traps create insecurity and self-doubt. It seems as if there is a "right" answer, if you could only know what that is. Or you may wish that you could just get things to go the way you want them to go so that you can feel better. The problem is that you are left feeling dependent on things outside of yourself to feel happy and at peace. Validation-Seeking. Perfectionism. The Comparison Trap. These are all ways we look for things outside of us to believe we are enough.

Here's the good news! You have the power within you to break free of these traps. Your mind is instinctually designed to seek safety and pleasure, and to be as efficient as possible. But sometimes this subconscious motivation leads you to fall into thought patterns that don't actually serve you. Learning to observe your mind and how it perceives your life in a way that creates a need for self-validation is the way to break free from these feelings and find a new level of self-worth and confidence.

Check out these podcast episodes in particular if you can relate.

Trap #3 - Validation-Seeking

Trap #4 - Comparison Trap

Trap #6 - Perfectionism

Trap #8 - Identity Crisis

The Judgmental Mindset

These mindset traps lead you to jump to conclusions and miss the nuances of the situation. You might find yourself oversimplifying situations and making them mean more than they do. You might spend a lot of time in other people's heads, trying to read their minds or assuming you know what they're thinking. These traps cause you to judge others and even worse, harshly judge yourself. The hardest part about these traps is that we very often don't even realize we're falling into them.

Here's the good news! You have the power within you to break free of these traps. Your mind is instinctually designed to seek safety and pleasure, and to be as efficient as possible. But sometimes this subconscious motivation leads you to fall into thought patterns that don't actually serve you. Learning to observe your mind and how it perceives your life in a way that creates feelings of judgment is the way to break free from these feelings and find peace.

Check out these podcast episodes in particular if you can relate.

Trap #9 - Emotional Reasoning

Trap #10 - Labeling

Trap #12 - Mind Reading

Trap #13 - Overgeneralization